The Holistic Moms Network (HMN) will host its 8th annual Natural Living Conference on October 1 at the Irvine Marriott in Irvine, CA, to share information on holistic living and parenting. Keynote speakers are Robyn O’Brien, speaking on what parents can do to clean up our food supply, and actress Mayim Bialik, author of an upcoming book on natural parenting.

The Holistic Moms Network is a national non-profit organization that connects parents interested in holistic health and green living.

“The landscape of childhood has changed,” O’Brien says. “In the face of the surging rates of allergies, autism, ADHD, asthma, diabetes, childhood cancer and obesity, our children are no longer guaranteed a safe and healthy future. And as parents around the country look to exercise precaution based on recommendations from the President’s Cancer Panel in the hopes of preventing the onset of many of these conditions, I am honored to be working with the Holistic Moms Network to help inspire change as health care is about more than managing these diseases in our children. It is about preventing them in the first place.”

The annual event unites members and attendees from across the country who share an interest in living healthier and more sustainably. Community-building and support are at the heart of HMN’s mission.

“Holistic Moms Network,” Bialik says, “represents all that is good in this crazy confusing world of ‘competing’ parenting styles: following our intuition, getting educated, and getting support for our choices. That’s the kind of community I am honored to be a part of — and honored to represent.”

In addition to the event’s speakers, a series of workshop sessions are offered on a variety of holistic living and parenting topics.

“The Natural Living Conference brings parents together to learn about natural wellness options and approaches so that they can make informed, educated decisions for themselves and their families,” said HMN founder and Director Nancy Massotto, Ph.D. “Connecting with hundreds of other parents who are passionate about good health and green living inspires people to make positive change in their lives – for their well-being and for the health of the planet.”

Workshop sessions at this year’s conference include:

• Making an Informed Vaccination Choice with Dr. Lauren Feder, M.D., a holistic pediatrician
• Food & Mood: Nine Steps to Calm Your Anxious Mind with Trudy Scott, a food mood expert, nutritionist and author
• The Smart Mama’s Guide to Non-Toxic Living with Jennifer Taggart, an environmental attorney, eco consultant and author
• Happiness is an Inside Job with Jennifer Waldburger LCSW, parenting expert and psychotherapist

To register for the conference, visit http://annualconference.holisticmoms.org or call toll-free 877.HOL.MOMS. For more information on Holistic Moms Network, visit www.holisticmoms.org.

Editor’s note: This is an excerpt from Intuitive Parenting: Listening to the Wisdom of Your Heart (Atria Books/Beyond Words)

Sleep wasn’t coming easily tonight. Getting appropriate rest on a firm bench in a hospital room was always a challenge. The room was sterile and cool with bright light and noise filtering in from the nurse’s station just outside our door.

My young daughter, Raegan Aria, lay motionless a few feet away, connected to numerous monitors and machines. We had been there for weeks, recovering from surgery to place a stomach tube. It seemed that everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. Raegan wasn’t doing well. Her brilliant smile and joyful laugh had been absent for days now. The doctors just kept repeating that special needs children are at greater risk for complications when undergoing medical procedures and she would take longer to recover.

You see, Raegan had been born with a rare brain malformation three years earlier, leaving her without the ability to walk, talk or develop normally. Although her initial prognosis and life expectancy were quite grim, this beautiful, angelic child had been thriving, despite her many physical and developmental limitations.

Things just didn’t seem right to me. I understood what I was being told by the medical team, yet I just kept feeling as if something was being missed. My pleas for more tests were met with condescending remarks about over-reactive parents, and I was advised not to question the wisdom and experience of a gifted surgeon.

As I sat there in the dark, physically and emotionally exhausted, the phrase “It’s growing” popped into my mind.

“What’s growing?” I asked out loud.

“In my throat, Mommy.”

I leaped from my position on the bench to my daughter’s side and said to her in a teary voice, “Are you trying to tell me something, Angel Baby?”

A resounding, “Yes,” was the reply that flooded my body. She remained sleeping with no physical indication that she was communicating with me. I knew it was Raegan, as we had similar moments at other points earlier in her young life. I didn’t know how she was doing it, however I decided at that moment and believed with all my heart it was the Truth she was conveying. I would press for immediate medical intervention.

Raegan was correct. A surgical stitch had been misplaced during her procedure and caused scar tissue to grow, blocking her esophagus and leaving her unable to swallow. This fact was confirmed by a simple test we insisted on being performed. She was required to have additional surgery to correct the problem. In fact, she had numerous procedures to try to reverse the harm done.

Throughout the many months she was hospitalized, Raegan continued to teach me how to use our hearts to talk. This unusual form of communication seemed especially acute during times of crisis and when we were both sleeping. At that point, I decided I would no longer make any decision regarding her care without checking in via our heart connection. It seemed to me, Raegan was operating from a higher place.

Where exactly was that place? Telepathy, channeling and heart communication are not typical topics when discussing care modalities for special needs children. Yet, as it was in our case, this “out of this world” information may be invaluable to a parent facing their child’s medical crisis. I was fortunate Raegan chose to share words, symbols and pictures in my mind’s eye to provide clues for fast action. Now I knew the phenomenon existed, still I was left with many questions. How is it done? Could it be expanded and implemented further? What was the science behind it? Is this something that could be taught? If I could utilize this heightened “mother’s intuition,” surely others must also be able to do the same.

My questioning mind and unique experience with my own child led me to dive head first into an unknown sea. I sought out other intuitive families and furthered my education, exploring scientific research and case studies on metaphysics, theology, psychic ability and energy medicine. Although I had known from a young age I was highly intuitive, here was an ideal opportunity to use the ability for something truly remarkable…enhancing communication for families. It was my belief this was a chance for children to greater express themselves and improve their quality of life in countless ways.

Like Raegan, a child reaching out would be heard by those listening with their heart. Training and education of this ability would empower parents to unlock their own potential in the healing energies, yielding growth and understanding of the miraculous power inherent in all of us.

Scientific research on energy medicine and intuition is expanding and gaining greater credibility in conventional circles. Compelling evidence suggests the brain and heart operate in conjunction – receiving, processing and decoding intuitive information. It is thought to be a complete body process in which many human systems are involved, and it further indicates how knowledge about future events emanate from an energy field.

This was the scientific evidence I was looking for to explain how my daughter and I communicate. It wasn’t fantasy. Our real, concrete experience had an energetic explanation. In basic terms, our energy fields were able to exchange information in an accurate, appropriate and timely manner because of our loving connection to one another. Raegan saved her own life by telling me what was wrong, and she did it by using her subtle energy system. My own sensitivity allowed me to hear her.

Scientific data is now beginning to substantiate experiences known to humankind for centuries. The discussion of telepathy can leave the genre of the supernatural and become an accepted method of communication. Imagine a future in which this natural ability is nurtured, developed and celebrated for the enrichment of all.

Through vibrant demonstration, Raegan has shown me how children intuitively draw upon their innate energy source and bring forth awareness to those willing to listen with a loving heart. This same source emanates through us as well, and can be firmly established into our consciousness by our thoughts, decisions and actions. Guidance comes to us openly and freely; it is we who must use energy expertise to decipher the message being delivered through our hearts.

Raegan is now 10 years old and flourishing. Although her chronic medical condition poses many challenges, it also gives us great opportunities for learning and growth. Our journey together has led me to develop an intuitive parenting program. Its mission is to empower parents to be an instrument of healing for their families by employing their intuitive hearts as a powerful tool. By opening their hearts to love, their minds to energy and being more receptive to the subtle clues of inner knowing, a caretaker can perceive, interpret, and act on information not accessible by other means. Life takes on a new dimension when feeling the glow of an intuitive heart.

The world is beginning to comprehend the healing vibration of the Universe, which resonates within all people, places and things. Incorporating vibration techniques can be done in a myriad of ways; simply follow your intuition as to what might work for your family.

Several of my clients whose children are considered by doctors to be on the “Autism Spectrum” report their kids as having a sensitivity and fondness for vibration in appliances, stones and specific places on their property. I have found it is best to let children take the lead and support what they are naturally drawn to. One child in particular collected rocks and felt comforted by them. It wasn’t until the mother took a closer look did she realize each rock had bits of quartz embedded somewhere in them. It was then easy to acknowledge that her child naturally gravitated toward these healing stones. I have seen similar traits in other children with regard to shells, leaves, shapes and colors.

My client, Don, not only uses his intuitive energy skills with his children, but also with his father, who has Alzheimer’s disease. Slowly watching his dad deteriorate in awareness and communication abilities at a nursing facility has been painful for Don. Constantly striving to remain connected, he brings in items from home, realizing the energy of certain favorite things stirs a reaction from his father and even stimulates conversation about their past. A beloved religious medallion seems to provide the most comfort and healing for them both. Their shared energetic connection, called the Field of Intuitive Harmony, is there for all to explore, regardless of whether you are the parent – or the child. Don demonstrates this beautifully by tapping into the vibrations and honoring the energetic connections with items from his life, and that of his father.

Remember, everything has a vibration. Your resonance with an object, person or thing may offer you a unique opportunity to tap into Divine energy. Here are some suggestions on how you can experience good vibrations:

• Decorate yourself and your home with natural stones and crystals for their beauty and healing properties.
• Use a quartz crystal, tuning fork or vibrating massager to activate your own or your family’s energy centers.
• Play with rocks! As a family, collect and track your sensitivity to certain stones. Why do you like them? How do they make you feel? Head out on a field trip to a rock museum or a local quarry.
• Go for a walk in the woods to tap into the Earth’s energies. Dowse for water, minerals, or even caves. Make it a fun outing for the whole family.
• When you feel resonance within your body, ask your higher self for more details and expect the answer to come to you. Resonance is often experienced as the lift in our heart, the bounce in our step or even a subtle all-over vibration. It is a feeling of deep connectedness.

Let’s face it: Nobody needs parenting advice. We all do our best and love our children so much that we can hardly stand it, but how do we raise them holistically in such a fractured culture?

It might be better said to ask, “How can we not?”

For this article, I spoke with my husband, ex-husband and my daughter’s grandmother to find out what it means to raise our daughter holistically. This article is the culmination of our ideas.

Our entire lives are holistic. Everything we do and say is a reflection of our beliefs and attitudes, and this is no more apparent than when raising a child. Many of us have experienced that moment when a child reflects back a shadow aspect of our darker self or a weakness that we would rather not see. I have both wept and smiled to see aspects of myself revealed to me through my daughter. Yet, I also understand that she is a unique manifestation of her own experiences.

Raising a child holistically means to become conscious of our patterns and the interwoven nature of our lives together, and with our planet. It means facing our shadows and recognizing the part that our attitudes and beliefs play in the manifestation of our outer experiences, like our bodies and our relationships. It also means being forgiving of ourselves and our humanity to allow us (collectively) the space to move on.

They say it takes a village to raise a child, and that is no less true today in our fractured society than it is in the tribal cultures of indigenous countries. The tribe who raises my daughter is me, my husband, my ex-husband, her teachers, her extended family and her friends.

Raising our daughter holistically means to be conscious of how we treat ourselves and the other caregivers in her life. It means having respect for her relationship to others in such a way that we allow her to live out her issues with others without unnecessary intervention, as much as possible. When I find myself criticizing another caregiver in her presence, a part of me shrinks – knowing that this will only build walls between us and does nothing positive for her relationship to the other person. I really try to avoid this as much as possible. It isn’t always easy, but I am at least grateful for the ability to recognize its importance.

Another interpretation of holistic living is to incorporate the body, mind and spirit into your everyday living. With children, the teachings of the body involve investigating our relationship to food and how we handle the messages our bodies send us when things go wrong. How does our family handle illness? What is our relationship to our bodies? Discussing these things and bringing them to light is a great way to live holistically. Allowing for differences in opinions is also good. It inspires our children to think for themselves and be tolerant of other people’s beliefs.

All things contain a spiritual aspect. In our household, we are influenced by Eastern philosophy, so witnessing the spiritual aspects of life is an integral part of our everyday life. When we cook a meal with love, we are imbuing a bit of our spirit into the food. When we appreciate a walk together and our connection to nature, we are teaching our children that spirit lives in all things. The only real way we can teach this is through modeling.

Examine your beliefs and see what is there. Consciously bringing our best to the table gives our children a wonderful foundation to view the world holistically and to carry that on for generations to come.

My eldest daughter found a caterpillar. She found it, she played with it, she nurtured it, she gave it a home. I saw her face when that caterpillar made it into the pupae stage. I saw her face, when she discovered it had birthed into a moth. I wish you had been there.

My eldest is already a healer, she’s already a reader. In womb, my Master Reiki teacher assured me that my baby wanted to be part of the ceremonies that led me from a level 1 practitioner to Master level. I agreed – it made sense to me. Unsurprisingly, from the time she was born, my child has been a peacemaker, easy to have around, healing in nature.

As she’s grown, she’s integrated the practices that she’s seen at home. I’ve talked to her about faeries, about angels, about God. Consequently, she talks to the faeries, the angels, to God. This past weekend, a baby bird (fallen from its nest) hopped directly onto her knee, where it sat peering up at us both. My daughter begged the angels to help it – and her prayer was answered – in the form of a refuge for wild creatures that need veterinary assistance. It took her dad three hours to get the bird there, but my daughter’s desire to help and her belief that the bird would be saved, propelled him forward – in spite of the twenty chores we had at home. Such is our daughter’s faith.

And she knows about manifesting. Of course, I haven’t used that word for it – it’s too long – but I’ve told her about how to program her brain and she’s used it to during tests, to help with running races, in a swim meet. She told me at her last swim that she hadn’t manifested until she realized that she was in last place. Then, “I programmed my brain – I told myself I could do it, and mum, I came back from the back and finished first!” Yasmin teaches her brother how to manifest, too. Manifesting for her is like turning on the tap. The results are instantaneous. If she wants something, she makes it happen for herself – and fast. That’s flow – and it’s beautiful.

Of course, my daughter is fortunate, for she’s been somewhere in the vicinity of my work as a medium and healer since she was young. Back in Denver, she’d sit with the owners of Sage Moon (the metaphysical store out of which I worked) staring at all of the beautiful crystals and cards and statues and t-shirts that they carried, acknowledging people as they entered the store. She was born to a spiritual trade.

Funnily enough, it was only this year, however, that she understood what readings were. Apparently, she had thought that people would visit me and I would “read” to them about the world of heaven. A good guess! Her understanding of my work has grown naturally. She welcomes the group to my workshops and circles, where she likes to give out gifts. Seeing me work with crystals has encouraged her to excavate her own crystals, clean them and write messages about the properties of the crystals, which she gives to guests. After watching her mother do Reiki and Reflexology, Yasmin began to do her own form of healing on people. If I’m tired, she’ll come around me place her hands on my shoulders and gently squeeze, running her energies. She knows about the power of healing and she uses it to help others – silently, without asking and with great love.

In recent months, I’ve noticed that she’s grown more inquisitive about symbolism – the meaning of colors, of totem animals, of dreams. Yasmin would ask about what each color meant and why she was drawn to one thing or another. I caught her reading my Ted Andrew’s bibles on totems and she’ll ask me what a particular dream means, and then she makes her own interpretation.

This beautiful daughter of mine is in tune. She’s in tune with herself, with the world around her and the world within her, and there is a flow about her that she has achieved effortlessly – and which I achieve some days and can only strive for, on others.

Children come into this world knowing so much – and sometimes we dumb down their experience so that it is just about Dora, or Thomas or Hannah Montana. Keeping that spirituality alight in them is a gift. Keeping our children open is a must. Always encouraging their questions, asking for their insights and trusting them with their truths is integral to their flowering. Oftentimes, our children have an intuition, an insight, a precognition that is as astute as it is accurate, and that must be honored, for while they are children, they are also souls – and these new children, whether they be crystals or rainbows or indigos, have a lot to teach us oldies, who have been birthed into a different era, with different ideas, and different ways of doing things.

And so, as you journey on with your own child, and in between Baby Einstein and Polly Pockets and Star Wars, make sure that you keep that light burning. Be their guide. Talk to them about heaven, share about nature, ask about their vibes, about their feelings, read about animals, teach about manifesting, give them healings, interpret dreams – but above all, give them love – and then watch how they grow.

“Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can break my heart.” – Robert Fulghum

Raising children holistically means that we believe that all experience is education for the soul. We coach instead of censure. We focus on the lesson learned rather than the mistake made. We shape rather than shame behavior. I am a grandmother who proudly sees her children doing these things as parents.

Earth is a planet of duality. So people will hold opposing viewpoints that often lead to verbal conflicts. We need to help children navigate these verbal conflicts.

In her book Tongue Fu!, Sam Horn gives ideas to guide children to find solutions rather than fault: When young children start fighting verbally, hold up your hand and ask them to “make silence.” Separate the children, explain that their behavior is inappropriate, and ask them to play by themselves until they are ready to treat each other with respect. If a child pipes up with an objection, raise your eyebrows, not your voice. Put your hand up and open your eyes wide as if to say, “You really don’t want to do this, do you?” Your refusal to dwell on why a fight started shows children that actions, not excuses, are valued.

You can tell older children that if they find themselves in a war of words, they can put their hand up, with fingers pointing skyward and palm facing forward, and stop what’s happening by saying, “Let’s not do this.” Then say, “Let’s work together to find solutions.”

* * *

Here’s a story from conflict resolution trainer Jamie Notter you can share to show that it is wise to take time to find out what problem a conflict is really about and avoid rushing to solve it:

One time Jamie’s two daughters came running to him in a panic.

“Dad, this is the last orange in the refrigerator and I need it” the older one said.

“No, I need it!” the younger said.

Before the older one could start the never-ending debate about who needs the orange more, Jamie interrupted them. He went and checked that there were no more oranges in the house. He found out that the neighbors didn’t have any oranges and that the stores were closed. There was indeed only one orange, and they both said they needed it.

So he got a knife, cut the orange in half, and told them to share it. His solution was a complete failure. His daughters each took their half of the orange and ran crying to their bedrooms.

You see, it turned out that the older daughter was baking a cake, and the recipe called for “the peel of one orange.” When he gave her half the orange peel, she thought the cake would be ruined. The younger daughter, on the other hand, was very hungry. She thought that a whole orange would tide her over until dinner, but a half would leave her frustrated.

His daughters had been so focused on winning that they didn’t see that they both could have what they wanted. The peel could have been taken off the orange for the older daughter’s cake before the younger daughter ate it.

* * *

Here are some conflict resolution principles to share with children:

• Avoid rushing to conclusions or solutions. Ask questions to find out what the problem really is about.
• Treat others respectfully and practice loving kindness. Avoid even passive violence that disrespects others or ourselves – name-calling, judging, criticizing. Passive violence is when we do this silently.
• Listen generously – with our heart, as well as with our brain. Avoid the urge to make the other side wrong.
• Ask God to help us see what lesson we can learn from this experience.

Stay clear! Your children are mirrors of your moods and attitudes. You will quickly discover how you are feeling by how your children are acting. If they are upset, don’t get upset at them. It will only make things worse. Try to find out what is really bugging them.

• Be consistent. Always changing your position on things will create inner turmoil and confusion. Mom and Dad should try to establish a unified program and mutually support each other.
• Work at being positive. Try to build up your child’s sense of the good in life. Don’t look for faults or be unduly critical. Praise your children often.
• Be honest in all your dealings. Children will pick up at an early age what is truth. Help them to be honest.
• Be reasonable and understanding. Explain why you choose a certain path. Don’t use anger as a regular practice. It is a powerful tool and used rarely will be much more effective.
• Provide meaningful boundaries and restrictions. Kids will usually push to find their limits, but they really appreciate knowing how far (how late, etc.) they can go.
• Be flexible. You don’t have to be unbending and hard-nosed to keep it straight with your kids and being flexible will keep everybody on their toes.
• Accept their point of view. In fact, encourage their opinion and involve them in the decision-making process of the household. Enjoy the harmony consensus can bring. Rules will be more readily obeyed if they help formulate them.
• Trust your children. Believe in them. Be on their side. Let them feel your support. Let them start life knowing they are loved.
• Don’t nag. Help them develop their own sense of responsibility so the burden of their homework, clean room, the chores, and other have-to-do things is not on your shoulders. Let them hear the firmness in your voice. Once should be enough.
• Develop good habits. Regularity can be healthy, but of course allow for deviation from time to time.
• Be available. Don’t get so caught up in your own reality that you neglect your communion with your children.
• Balance your love for your own children with your love for all children. They are your special ones, but don’t forget to be loving and fair to others.
• Don’t put your kids on the spot in front of other people. Try to work out your thing with them on a one-to-one basis unless, of course, a group interaction is more beneficial.
• Help direct your children toward a creative exploration of life. Support them in opening up to their unique potential as human beings.
• Be a shining example of love for your children to follow. Don’t gossip about your neighbors or play favorites. Everyone will benefit by your unconditional love.
• Inspire in your children a reverence and respect for all life. Instill in them an attitude of thanksgiving, and open them up to exploring their spiritual path.
• Be patient with yourselves. Avoid feelings of guilt even when you feel you aren’t measuring up to your expectations as parents. No one is perfect, but you can try your best.
• Guide, console, discipline and, above all, keep a sense of humor. May the spirit of harmony and crystal-clear communication bless your family.

What was strongest in my own life was my spiritual connection. Though I grew up Catholic, even preparing for the priesthood for five years after high school, my spirituality did not really come home to me until an angel began to speak with me, and became a constant companion in my early forties.

I would talk about these things with my children. Once one daughter was working on a project for a physics class, to make a strong structure by gluing toothpicks together. The teacher would then pile up weights until each structure collapsed to see which structure was the strongest.

We talked about different structures. Then one of the kids said, “Why don’t you ask the angel?” So I did. I asked the angel, and got some principles and a design. We had great fun putting it together. The design wasn’t the strongest in the class, but was better than average, and better than we would have done without the added input.

I loved being with my children. I would look at them, see what they were feeling, and connect with them, like seeing how afraid they were and what support they needed at the top of a long slide. I would try to challenge them, find the fun, surprise them, and try new things on walks, on bike rides, or in books at libraries. Sometimes we would make up stories together around the fireplace. When they were older, we would laugh and run and play tag together as it was getting dark in hilly parks.

Once I got a new calculator that would work with scientific notation. We talked about measuring the universe, and how this little calculator could compute unimaginable distance in light years across the seemingly infinite expanse. This became a memory that we would vividly recall thirty years later.

It wasn’t my Catholic devotion, or my talking to angels and God, that made the impact upon my children. After my children were grown, one year for a Father’s Day present my adopted Korean daughter gave me a framed picture of her at about age 4 with her legs around my waist, us holding hands with arms outstretched, twirling and laughing, looking in each others’ faces. Somehow that picture captured our loving, fun, mutually approving, precious relationship.

And as I see another daughter with her two children, what is awesome to me is not their spiritual practices similar to mine, but how she loves to be with her children, enjoying them at every age, with fun and endless patience. I am proud of her, and her family, and myself as a father.

My precious memories of my children are of our personal, fun, loving interactions. And we continue to this day, making more of these memories whenever we are together.

Many of today’s parents are seeking natural remedies and a holistic lifestyle for themselves and their families in an effort to attain optimal health and live a greener life. Holistic parenting is about understanding how our choices are connected. Being conscious of our choices enables us to think on a larger scale and to do what is best for our families both in the short term and the long term.

Although holistic parenting can take many routes and result in a wide variety of choices, there are some simple things every parent can to do to begin their journey. Here are six steps to discovering holistic parenting:

• Be Informed. Being informed in all of your parenting and health choices is a cornerstone of whole living. Investigate your options educate yourself on the benefits as well as the risks of your parenting, healthcare, and lifestyle choices.

• Cultivate Trust. Living holistically starts with a shift in your perspective, away from fear and uncertainty and toward trust in yourself, your body, and nature’s healing power. Cultivating this trust is challenging, but uncovering it is ultimately a source of empowerment.

• Tune Into Your Mother (or Father) Wisdom. Deep within yourself lies your inner wisdom and intuition, as well as your spiritual voice. What feels right to you may not be the most traveled path but often will best serve your family.

• Go Natural. The preponderance of chemicals in our food, homes, and environment is wreaking havoc on our health. We need to look for safe, non-toxic products to care for our homes, and to eliminate artificial ingredients, preservatives, and pesticides from our food.

• Live Lightly on the Earth. Living holistically means recognizing the interconnectedness of our choices. Tread lightly by supporting industries that nurture the earth (such as organic farming), incorporating green practices into your life (such as recycling), and giving back of yourself through volunteer work.

• Find Support. Creating and interacting with others who share similar philosophies is empowering and will help you to find the tools you need to grow a healthy family. What’s more, social support itself is health creating. Recent studies show that being socially connected to others can improve your physical health and is linked to lower mortality rates.

May your parenting journey be a healthy one!

I’m frequently asked how I do my version of psychic astrology, in which I combine the language of the stars with past-life information and input from Spirit Guides, spirits of the deceased and Ascended Masters and Teachers. A few years ago I began practicing astrology without any psychic input. I was doing good work, but it was all from my brain, which couldn’t possibly reflect all of me. When my psychic opening began, shortly after opening my practice, everything changed, and I set about learning to develop that side of myself.

Uncovering my abilities had much to do with sorting out the various sources of information to which I always had access. I learned to operate what I think of as my "inner sound board," a contraption full of knobs, dials and switches used to figure out what inner voices were saying what. Whether inner children with unprocessed emotional junk, the voices of my parents or other authority figures that I’d internalized somewhere along the way, Spirit Guides or the spirits of dead people, or my intuitive and psychic sense, the first step was sorting them out.

Each of us has intuition and psychic abilities. The route to developing them will differ for each of us, but follows a generalized script that includes learning to tell apart the various voices we carry in us all the time. Below are some thoughts on each and tips to learn to tell them apart.

Inner Children. Each time something frightening, unpleasant or traumatic happened to you when you were a child, you were imprinted by your strong desire to avoid repeating a similar situation in the future. Now, you’re likely carrying a host of these little inner kids who frequently advise you about how to avoid the kind of pain and unhappiness you experienced long ago. Each of those now helping you run your life needs to be heard, and you must take care of the need they had at the unhappy times when you were younger which, no matter what they say, always boils down to some combination of acceptance, love and safety. Offer them this now and they’ll be happy, and will begin to work with you instead of feeding you fear.

Parental/Authority Voices. We all internalize the ideas, opinions, strategies and fears of our parents and other authority figures. Whether we embrace or reject them, they’re a part of the foundation we carry into our later life. They’re gifts from those people (even if we don’t like them!), tools they thought would best serve us in our own lives. Our judgments about the right kinds of work, relationships and life path often stem from what we learned from our parents about the right ways to live and reasons for living. We need to decide if we want to hold onto and perpetuate them, or let them go.

Spirit Guides. Each of us has Spirit Guides available to support us in making choices that serve our highest good. What they offer is loving support for your ongoing development. If a voice you identify is judgmental or fearful, or in some other way not loving, it’s not from your Spirit Guides!

Deceased People. Those who are psychically open may attract the spirits of deceased persons. Their agendas differ. Some are entirely kind, some are not, and some are simply afraid of what’s happened to them (not all know they’re dead). If you experience this, you may have feelings, thoughts and fears you’re very sure do not belong to you. Say "All energies that do not belong to me I send back to Source!" and say "No, thank you!" to any energy that makes you uncomfortable in any way.

Intuition/Psychic Sense. We each have an inner knowing that can come through once we learn to sort out all the other kinds of voices. It’s just there, waiting for us. Learning to differentiate between all of these others leaves you better able to focus on and amplify your natural intuitive and psychic senses. Without the static and white noise of what isn’t really you, you’ll see that all the information you need is available to you at all times.

Earlier this year in January, this column highlighted the top forecasts for 2005 from a group of futurists from the World Future Society

On the 4th of July it will be exactly one year since my 19-year old son moved out of our home in anger over an argument I had with his now former girlfriend about something so insignificant that I won’t even take the time to explain the details, except to say that she had accused me of something I hadn’t done and I asked her to leave my house.

Perhaps it’s no coincidence that our family fireworks occurred on Independence Day. It was the beginning of my son’s venture into adulthood.

When he left, I felt in my heart that it would be quite some time before I would see him again. If there was going to a battle for affection and allegiance between myself and his sweetheart,

I knew I didn’t stand a chance. In fact, I might have been concerned about his mental state if he had sided with me.
My son and I have certainly had our share of ups and downs over the years , and due to a divorce and a joint custody agreement with his father when he was 2 years old, I often went months at a time without seeing him. But when we were together, we generally got along well.

In fact, I always thought the two of us had a special, spiritual connection. I can remember a moment when he was about 3 years old. We were getting ready to leave a playground and I stopped to look at him through my car’s rearview mirror as he was sitting in the back seat. We just looked into each other’s eyes for several minutes. I could sense the closeness between us.

Over the years as my son was growing up, we were often able to read each other’s mind. We seemed to know exactly what the other person was going to say before either one of us ever uttered a word.

The bond between us has made this past year especially painful and disconcerting. It’s been difficult not to blame myself for our estrangement. If only I’d handled his girfriend’s accusations differently, maybe my son would still be in my life.

When I think about sharing my situation with others, I fear the unanimous reaction will be: What had I done that could make him so angry? In other words, what exactly did I do to deserve the silent treatment?

One of the things I have learned over the years is that my expectations in a given situation can bring me an enormous amount of sadness and confusion.

I have thoughts such as, When you have children, they are supposed to love you forever and never decide to stop speaking to you, because that would be wrong. So how does one justify such rejection? And is it really rejecton anyway? Or is my son’s decision not to speak to me merely his need to grow and become an adult, and it may in fact have little if anything to do with me personally?

I know I didn’t handle the fateful argument with my son to the best of my ability. It certainly wasn’t my higher self running the show that day. No, it was my ego. My big, fat ego. I still love my son very much and I realize now that his refusal to communicate with me is something that, for whatever reason, he needs to do for himself. He may have reasons that I’m not even aware of, even if it simply boils down to a power struggle or a need to spread his wings without what he may interpret as interference from his mother.

My higher, spiritual self realizes that my son needs to do his own thing and I need to do mine. If we are supposed to reunite at some point we will, not because I want it but because we both desire it for greater growth of our individual selves.

A couple of weeks ago I came home unexpectedly and saw my daughter standing outside talking to my son, who had stopped by to visit his sister, assuming I was not home. Without any hesitation, I walked outside to greet him. My knees were shaking and my voice was trembling. He said hello and cooly asked me how I was doing. We talked for only a few minutes and then he turned away and returned to his conversation with my daughter.

Later on that night when I returned home from work, my daughter told me that my son had called to say he felt bad for acting rude toward me. Could that be the light at the end of the tunnel I have been hoping for? Perhaps, but in the meantime I believe there are two things I must continue to do simultaneously: Let go and let him know that I love him. I’m confident that the universe, in all its wisdom, will take care of the rest.