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Acceptance and learning the lesson

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It was one of those months. Death in the family, complicated hospitalizations, interrupted meditation retreat, equipment failures, delivery of damaged goods, dental infections and car accidents, not to mention the general chaos associated with the holidays. Every time some sort of major event happened, I thought to myself, "There's a lesson to be learned here." And each time I thought I knew what the lesson was, something else would happen to shift the gaze, sharpen the focus. It sure seems … [Read more...]

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Caring for others need not be a stranglehold

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sciandra

They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions, and I believe it. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I have earned my own hard hat and orange safety vest. Many sensitive, lovely people are genuinely committed in their hearts to making the world a better place. Unfortunately, this noblest of goals can set up them up for a nasty trap. The messes that can be made by stepping in to resolve a problem are often far greater than might result from being hands-off. The drive to care for others … [Read more...]

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A compassionate presence: A more authentic response

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sciandra

Several years ago I read the following: "It's not a hot flash, it's a power surge." Now at the time, I had never had a hot flash. I wasn't even sure I knew anyone who had hot flashes, but instinctively, I took offense at this. There was something about the relentless optimism I saw being expressed that sounded like utter crap to me. What little I'd heard told me that these were unpleasant experiences and pretending they weren't was disingenuous, as well as shaming to anyone who didn't share the … [Read more...]

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Giving and receiving: We all share the healing

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sciandra

For a week I've hardly been able to go anywhere or have a conversation with anyone without the encountering the subject of giving. It began when I met a friend for dinner in Downtown St. Paul near her workplace. We were returning to our cars when a woman approached us asking for the location of a battered women's shelter. What it turned out she was really looking for was bus fare to Minneapolis, which I ended up giving her. As I drove home, I realized I was feeling resentment; I felt … [Read more...]

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Immersed in the Sea of the World

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Sciandra

There is a yearning we have as humans, to join with the flow and essence of the world around us. It creates a nostalgia for something we know we've experienced, yet cannot put a name to. There is a longing to be part of the greater whole. It is nearly impossible to walk to the edge of the ocean and not to kick off your shoes in order to wade in and let the waves lick against your ankles, to find a path in the woods and not take it, to come to a hill and not climb it. I grew up near Niagara … [Read more...]

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Might as well face it, you’re addicted to drama

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sciandra

We all know the people whose lives are the stage for constant drama. They live from crisis to crisis; every conflict, or roadblock is fodder for their personal soap opera. Once one catastrophe ends, they are quickly immersed in another. We are all subject to it. You have some kind of stressful event happen, a bad break-up, a conflict with a co-worker. You get on the phone with friends, constantly rehashing and analyzing the situation, working yourself into a froth. Exhausting one audience, … [Read more...]

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The Path to Peace is in the Present

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When I was in Sedona, AZ, about a year ago, I was reminded of an interview I read with travel journalist and chef Anthony Bourdain. He said that he no longer takes photographs when he travels, as he is inevitably disappointed by how poorly they capture his experience. I had been treated to a stay at an incredible spa nestled in the floor of a spectacular, red rock canyon, surrounded by parkland. In a freak meteorological event, it had turned cold and damp and rainy in late May and we'd been … [Read more...]

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Global Thinking is Key to our Growth

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sciandra

In this world of hyper-specialization, something is being lost. The brilliance of our humanity is being dimmed as we get narrower and narrower in our focus. Our ability to think globally is one of the most wonderful parts of being human and the intellectual rewards are immeasurable, and key to our growth as people and as a species. But, as importantly, allowing ourselves to gratify all our passions - Australian film, Chinese cooking, the history of infectious disease - we become more whole as … [Read more...]

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Owning Yourself: For Better or For Worse

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My ankle has been doing a bang-up job of predicting the weather lately. I broke it when I was about 22 and it was set wrong, and I can tell you that it's kept me updated on all the fronts that have come through recently. Other repercussions of this injury have gradually manifested over the years until it has become my "bad ankle." Get to a certain age and everyone has one: the trick knee, the bad back, the screwed up shoulder. You can't help but notice the language we use to describe these … [Read more...]

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Cultivating ‘metta’ in our conscious lives

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sciandra

When we talk about learning to love and accept ourselves, I've heard some people describe it as coming across as kind of "cheese-ball," and frankly, it often tends to be. I don't wish to denigrate the wisdom that holding oneself in a place of respect and kindness is important. In fact, I am here to support and endorse it. After all, how can we truly develop a compassionate, healing presence with others without including ourselves? What I want to do is change the context of what it means to feel … [Read more...]

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