Dear Kimberly,
My boyfriend and I have been together for three years and I really do love him. He is so stable and steady. The problem is that I am really attracted to a new man in my life. He is flighty and romantic, like me. When I’m with him it feels right, and when I’m with my boyfriend that feels right, too. What should I do? - Missing Out
Dear Missing Out,
First, you need to know that the people in your life are your mirrors. This means that they are showing you parts of yourself.
You have inside of you both the stable and steady rock you see in your boyfriend and the flighty romantic you are drawn to in this new man. The real problem is that you have compartmentalized these parts of you, so they are manifesting in two distinct partners.
Let’s look at the archetypes of your two guys. An archetype defines the kind of character a person is expressing. For instance, your boyfriend sounds like he vibrates King energy. The new guy sounds like he vibrates Lover energy. Take some time to imagine who you would be if you were both of these yourself, both queen and lover. It might be easier to be the King’s consort, and you can do that if you like. No responsibility, but no power either. However, if you choose to step into your own queen energy, you can meet your boyfriend’s King hand-in-hand. I suspect that in the process, he will balance you out by developing his own Lover energy, so your head won’t be turned by the next Romeo who shows up.
How can you be more of a Queen? Embrace your own power. Think big. And remember that a queen’s job is not to think only of herself – it is to make sure everyone in the kingdom has what they need.
Dear Kimberly,
I hate my job but it is really good money. I’d really like to be a painter. I mean, I love to paint and I am pretty good at it. However I don’t want to be poor and penniless with lots of paintings and I think that is what will happen. What should I do? - Stifled Corporate Artist
Dear SCA,
If you identify your soul’s longing as painting, you should know that the unlimited forces of the Universe (call them what you will) support you in expressing this gift in the world. If you choose that for yourself, you will find unexpected means of support and guidance you never would have dreamed of back in your corporate office. The bigger task is how to let go of the opiate of security you’ve embraced until now and allow yourself room to fly – and how can you can do that wisely, so you can have the best chance of success?
The first step is to allow the possibility for financial success along with spiritual satisfaction. Like many of us, you may have been taught that they are separate. This is a myth that keeps the status quo in charge and aligned with the craving for power. Give yourself permission to have both. Then, make a list of eight possible steps you could take that would help you explore the painter’s path in more depth. They don’t have to be big steps, but include one really radical step. Rate each possibility on a scale of 1-10, with "10" being very exciting and "1" being absolutely boring. Choose your top two tasks and commit to doing them this week…and watch what happens.
Dear Kimberly,
My friends tell me I have a great business idea, and I think it sounds really exciting too. It’s BIG and it would help a lot of people. I keep hearing that I should take risks while I am still young and don’t have kids. People tell me all the time that I should go for it and make my idea happen in the world. But I am terrified and can’t imagine how I would get from here to there. Plus, I get stuck in self-doubt. What if I fail? What if I can’t do it? What if the world isn’t ready? - Lost in the Wilderness
Dear LIW,
You don’t need to know how you will get from here to there. You do have to decide that you aren’t going to live a small, uneventful life – and allow yourself to live as glorious and magnificent of a story as you can possibly imagine. You are richly blessed. There are lots of people who never see beyond the mundane walls of their lives to a vision of any sort, let alone one that will impact lots of people. You aren’t one of them. Take what you have been given without guilt. If you have a vision, acting upon it is a service to humankind; the simple act of doing so gives everyone who sees you permission to do the same.
Self-doubt is an insidious poison that seeps through the system, crippling hope – sometimes fatally. Refuse to allow this to happen. Draw a picture of the part of you that tells you that you aren’t good enough. Be vigilant when s/he is talking to you. You will find that when your energy is high, you don’t hear that voice – and when your energy is low, it comes through loud and clear. Make sure you have supportive people around you who will remind you of your mission in those low times. Take care of yourself in the best way you know how – dance, running, meditation. Tap in to healthy sources of energy. Birthing a big vision on a caffeine and sugar buzz can be done, but it’s not sustainable. Burnout lies around the corner.
Sometimes the past clouds the field of possibilities. Make the commitment to yourself to tie up any loose ends that may exist in your life. Make sure you are free of your past by forgiving everyone who you think ever wronged you, even if it hurts. The weights of anger, judgment and disappointment are your burden alone, and you will need to be light on your feet to move into the vision you have. Put them down. And then, take a deep breath and jump.
For every person brave enough to ask a question, there are 10 others in the same confusion who are too afraid to ask. With Minnesotans being as polite as they are, it may be up to 25 who are sitting silently while pondering the same question. Be brave! Submit your questions online at kimberly@touchesthesky.com and know you are providing a public service.
Copyright © 2006 Kimberly Errigo. All Rights Reserved.
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